Another Year Older

Wonder when I’ll start to feel it? Or to act my age whatever that means. Apparently by now I’m supposed to be an OCD, ultra cleaning, over scheduling machine with every hour of the day outlined down to the last minute. Oh, well. I don’t care to do that so I’ll continue to dress how I feel and not worry about it as long as I have more teeth than I count off the top of my head and don’t top the scale over 300 pounds.

Apparently I’m Fat

Yes, I once had a woman that was 6 feet tall and over 300 pounds call me fat. Apparently she did not own a mirror, or have good enough vision to tell that I was approximately half her size. I bit my tongue until it bled trying not to laugh and hurt her feelings by dragging her back to reality with something just as thoughtless and hateful.

So my hair has gray

I also had the pleasure of once having a woman with 9, count them 9 teeth tell me I needed to do something about the gray in my hair. Well, I still have more teeth then I can count off the top of my head. Keep in mind this is a woman that had her teenage daughter tell her it was embarrassing for her to leave the house without make-up because she was the hot mom (younger than the others b/c she was a teen mother, twice) and she wasn’t hot without her make-up.

Just in case you’re wondering if you have to have make-up for people not to think you look like something the cat drug in the kittens rejected you are not hot by any means. Having a smaller waist does not make you attractive. It only makes the unattractive package smaller.

Now Ask Me if I Care.

No, I don’t. You see, the premature gray would look more like bleached highlights, and it’s more white than gray. I would not mind being the little old lady with snowy white hair at all. I have spent a small fortune I didn’t have to ensure that my teeth stay in my mouth where they belong. The day they decide other wise, I fully intend to spend another fortune I do not have to prevent smiling at people with a big gaping hole in my mouth. Those with the few teeth they have giving the appearance of a beaver and looking like death without make-up to the point they feel the need to sleep in it (which causes premature aging by the way) should not throw stones.

Those that have trouble fitting through doorways need not call anyone else fat. I still have only one ass after two children, three husbands and hell. What caused your additional asses to form?

I have yet to develop those not so lovely laugh lines. I can leave the house without make-up and still be found attractive. I can not count my teeth and I can still fit through the doorway. Oh, the best part, I would be older than both those idiots that pointed out to me that I am fat with gray hair. My daughters have never informed me I better put my make-up on before going out in public and embarrassing them without it. My oldest has intentionally tried to look and dress like momma, instead of some air brushed bimbo in a magazine.

So while I may have aged another year, I’ll spend it enjoying the fact that I am aging better than most of those around me. My children are not embarrassed by me and I do not NEED make-up to have a face people don’t run from.

I may be a little older but I can still pass for a baby. Can you?