Figuring It Out Again……

Learning to do everything alone would talk a bit of time. At the moment I am attempting to figure out just how many more hours I can get out of my day. There are always additional expenses at the end of the year but this year they seem to be hitting me harder than ever. I am in no position to take care of everything I can only hope that things manage to work out someway.

I seem to remember having this same problem this time last year, the only difference is that this time there is no changing my mind. I am getting a divorce which will once again make me a single parent. This time my child has special needs that require time, attention and money to take care of. In September of 2010 I made the decision to stop writing for other people and manage with what I could earn writing my own content in the time available to me. That change lasted almost one year before circumstances forced me to go back to private clients. This time everything has changed and I have no choice but to work every angle to ensure that I earn the amount of income that I require to meet even the most basic needs.

Scheduling Changes

My child is now at a half day preschool Monday through Friday. This means that I get up each morning and turn my computer on before I ever get her up and get in at least five minutes of preparation for the day. The bus picks her up at approximately 8:05 and drops her back off between 12:15 and 12:30 that afternoon. This gives me four hours to clean up the house while I work. Yes, I am guilty of cleaning house when I take a break from writing, someone has to do it. A total of twelve hours a week to write new content either my own or as a ghostwriter for others.

We still have therapy five days a week. Wednesday’s I pick my child up from preschool just before noon so she can have lunch before her one o’clock appointment. I typically pack it because of her issues with crowds and she has a picnic. Tuesdays we have two therapy sessions as well. The rest of the week we have one half hour session. These are the hours when I can and can not work. I typically use therapy now as a time to read and relax from the stress of the day.

How Much Do I Need to Earn?

I need to earn enough to cover the monthly expenses, my child’s needs and in the short term my divorce. The divorce is additional money that I would require making it a bit tricky to come up with. The least amount of money I need to cover it would be $500. Great, now to figure out where to get an extra $500.. I’m unsure of household expenses at the moment which makes this even more difficult.

The only clear thing?

The only thing that is clear to me right now is that I do not have enough facts and I am no where near prepared for the changes that are taking place so rapidly.

Nothing Went as Planned

So far nothing has gone as planned for the weekend. I managed to get approximately three of my articles edited and re-posted elsewhere. I did a few blog posts and managed to go get most of the things that we need for the house. Basic items that we use on a regular basis. I still need brakes and would love if people would stop telling me that it is my imagination. I know that I can not afford them right now but if they would stop telling me that it is my imagination it would make the ability to get them easier to make a reality.

I would be facing difficulty both personally and financially. I feel rather alone right now but that’s to be expected since I tend to isolate myself when I have problems that I do not want to deal with. I have to deal with them but I have to do it in my own time. A few are beyond my control at the moment and a couple that are within my control are going to hurt to deal with. 

I know that I can fix this mess I have found myself in but I do not know how. I wish that all the answers would come to me but they are running from me as if I had a deadly and highly contagious disease. I am often confused when times like these arise and this one would not be an exception to that reality. 

I would be getting divorced and in love with someone else. I have been faithful. I am going to get my divorce as soon as I figure out how to pay for it, then I am going to slowly become accustomed to being alone.  The man that I love though he is my friend is not in love with me and he never will be. I knew that from the start but it is still not a pleasant reality. Oh well, forgetting about a man is easy, you simply find one that wants some company for a little while. OK so that’s a bad idea but some time out with friends or even strangers can help this situation, or at least distract me from it for a little while. The financial difficulty I am facing will take a bit more to get past.

I have $10 available toward the approximately $141 that I need to fix my mistake. All that I can do is continue to work and keep the money to pay that mistake separate from the money to cover my child’s needs. She will not suffer because of my stupidity. Well, I have to find more work to do and hopefully get finished with a project that I have already been paid for. The client was supposed to get me the rest of the work this weekend. I only hope that he has the other projects behind it like he is supposed to. 

Increasing expenses and still decreasing income

I haven’t felt much like writing lately. That’d be fine except for one thing…..I make my living writing. I had some time off because of a costly injury and now my vision is blurry. I’m not sure if it’s because of the light or if my eye is worse. I’m hoping I just need new glasses that I’ve need for a while or at least since the pair I’m supposed to be wearing broke.

I have one more payday coming this month unless I can manage to get some articles submitted and accepted for upfront payments. I have four bills left to pay that won’t be covered until payday, and not enough to cover the rest of the things that have to be bought. I should be writing an article right now but I’m not. I took Theresa to therapy today. I have less than a half of a tank of gas to last me until the 10th which is Sunday. We have one appointment tomorrow, two Thursday luckily within ten minutes of each other. Friday our appointments are in one building. I should have enough gas to last all week. The 10th I fill the tank and make it last the rest of the month.

I think I managed two articles today but I’m not sure. I did a load of laundry which reminds me that I’m going to need laundry detergent soon and don’t have any of the ingredients. I can’t buy the ingredients this month either. I really don’t want to spend a $1 on a generic box that won’t last the month and doesn’t work very well. I may end up hand washing a large portion and using the washing machine for Theresa’s clothes.

Theresa ran out of two of her supplements. The zinc is approximately $8 and I keep forgetting to get it. The fish oil if about $38 when I have it delivered and I don’t have $38 to order it right now. I have to pick up two new supplements for Theresa in the morning. Together they should come to about $14.

I separated the finances from dear hubby because he doesn’t seem to understand the concept of bills. Actually I know he doesn’t and he doesn’t actually make enough to cover any at the moment. So he’s now responsible for taking his paycheck and paying his child support, cell phone bill, his portion of the auto insurance and buying what he needs. This month he’s not doing so well. Of course with all the extra expenses I’m not doing so well this month either.

Oh well, all this talk of finances makes me realize that it’s past time to work. I have an idea to submit to AC for upfront payment but I have to actually write it in order to submit it.