Multitasking means something gets forgotten

Why do we insist on doing a million things at once?

Easy, everyday we are bombarded with images of unrealistic situations where people run around and do everything in an hour. Monday morning I managed get my laundry down to fold before I had to get my child up and send her directly to the bathtub. We managed to make it quick despite the fact she’d live in the tub if she could. Then we managed somehow to get her dressed and she even ate despite being programmed to walk out the door the minute her shoes were on. Of course she picked out her brown coat with the leopard print on the cuffs, pockets and in the hood. Then true to form I have to brush her hair standing beside the road, never mind the fact that it’s freezing cold and sprinkling rain. The first thing she did was step deliberately into the water puddle I had just carried her over and went to school with a wet shoe. By the time the bus got to us I was holding her in my coat because the wind was cutting through me.

Nothing was accomplished while she was at school. 

I did a load of laundry consisting of random clothes,  another load with her comforter and yet another with her blanket and pillows. I managed to do the dishes and drink two pots of coffee. Then I spent the day starting a hub I have yet to finish and attempting to find the number for the clerks office to verify my filing fees. Whether or not testimony can be written or has to be given before the judge is something else I need to know.  There is no one competent enough to watch my child. This could be an issue.

I still need to verify my filing fees and it’s like the clerks office number is hiding from me.

It’ll be all right.

I know it’ll work out. I’ll get it filed and get my Rodeo replaced without something smaller that my nerves aren’t too shot to drive. I also forgot to call someone to come out and see if they could fix my well. I needed to price having a manual pump put in too, just in case….OK I need to work now, but I will be back later to ramble on some more.


Preparing for Christmas

Christmas is getting closer. I put the tree up with the kid this morning, she even put some of the limbs on and a couple of the decorations. There still aren’t that many, all of them she made in school or therapy. She likes to see things that she made on the tree, so they are all her creations and will continue to be until she wishes otherwise. There are no gifts under the tree yet, Theresa’s are the only ones that will go under it. My oldest daughter’s will be taken elsewhere. The oldest has her birthday first and this year it appears that all she gets is a card in the mail. I have yet to buy anything for the holiday or the kid’s birthday because I have not had the money. Everything is tearing up and being used up. This is a rather bad time to be out of everything. I will figure out the girl’s gifts. I would make them something for their birthdays but the last time I tried that the youngest father used the gift. The fact no one gave it to him and the fact that it was put up out of sight were not clues that he might want to ask before he did. The fact he was told that it was for someone did not give him a clue either.

I would be hoping to get my divorce papers signed in time for Christmas. Then this blood sucking idiot that is draining the very life from me will have no choice but to get out. He refuses to leave my home no matter how many times he is told to leave. I am working on finding both the papers so that the important parts can simply be filled in and filed. The filing fees are a different story but I’m working on a way to cover them.

New Schedules and Routines

In light of recent events there have been some unexpected changes to the way that I do things. My entire routine has been changed, at least for now. I am up by 5a.m whether I want to be or not. It’s a little habit I developed when I was without Internet access. I am working as fast as I can in order to ensure that I can make up the income that I lost. I may not be able to make up that lost time but I can make sure that next month isn’t the same way. I will be taking $50 as soon as it is available and reopening my savings account.

There are things that I need, among them a divorce. Well, I am well aware that I can file the papers myself. I just have to find the correct ones. I found out yesterday that the filing fees are or were only $170. I intend to come up with that very shortly and very carefully. I would also be in need of a vehicle that I can drive without any current problems that has decent gas mileage. The problem is that with current expenses I can not afford a car payment even with a trade in. This means I have to come up with a new plan.

Getting up at five in the morning gives me the opportunity to take care of little things such as checking my email and seeing if there is any work available that is not part of my regular schedule for the day. Those two things can be knocked out while I enjoy a cup of coffee or two as the rest of the house sleeps. I am beginning to enjoy this time alone and if I budget it carefully I can even grab a shower without hearing anyone call my name. I do love not having to wait until everyone leaves the house for the morning to jump in the shower and have time to myself.

Well, I have found that four precious hours in the morning allow me to do housework while working for a living and that it is starting to go better now. I have my computer back, a portable Internet connection and a fully charged battery. Today since I will be stuck at therapy long past the 2:45 that we are scheduled to get out due to a lack of transportation I will be taking my computer in hopes of achieving some work during the afternoon. I may even take my charger in the event my battery runs low before I am done working.

Well, it’s almost time to go get the kid so I need to wrap up a few things before I can shut down. I’ll be back later to let you know how this afternoon went with my pile of stuff and my kid.

Why Can’t I Fit My Computer in my Pocket?

If my computer would fit in my pocket a lot of my problems would be solved. I could simply fold it up and take it out when I got where I was going in order to work where ever I am. It would be a lot simpler life with a child in tow. I need to increase my income but so far it’s going rather badly. I keep getting hit with these irritating little nickel and dime expenses that are taking more than their toll on me.

I will be spending the morning asking my soon to be ex questions from a job application in order to ensure the information is entered quickly enough that I have my computer free in time to get some actual work done today. He’s slow as Christmas at everything and answering simple “yes or no” questions is no exception to that rule. I am attempting to help him find a job that pays a living wage or even one that he can work in addition to the part time job he currently has. The man has had eight jobs since 2005, since I am the one that felt the stress of each and every change I would be helping him to fill out more applications to prevent having to feel the stress during the divorce.

Christmas is only two months away which is not a lot of time to shop, especially with no money but I am a bit annoyed that the two holidays that come before it are being over looked. I do not like this time of year and the rush that it creates. No one appears to be taking the time anymore to remember what the holiday is supposed to be about. Instead it is about spending as much as you can. This is the part of the holiday that annoys me the most. Oh well, I need to be working so I’ll go for now.

Civil Through it All

I am determined to remain civil through it all this time. The divorce is going to take a bit longer than I had planned to pay for but that’s all right. I can wait, it’s not like anyone is waiting to sweep me off my feet or anything. I can slowly begin to surround myself with friends again. I am going to reclaim my life before I go back to the world of relationships. I can have friendships but not relationships just yet.

The divorce is going to be at least $500 that may have to come out of my income tax refund. That is if there is a refund this year. My soon to be ex made arrangements to have something done about the vehicle that I can not drive anymore. He talked to the local mechanic and asked about the cars he fixes and talked to him about doing a trade for my Rodeo. That will help me out a lot, no more panic attacks when I drive would be incredible! Spending less on gas also a bonus.

The ability to kick him out without worrying about being stranded priceless. Making sure he only takes what is actually his when he goes difficult. Oh well, I can make sure I get rid of a bunch of stuff before then. I need to donate some of the kids stuff to make room for new stuff anyway. I also need to go through and get rid of my clothes that do not fit anymore to see how many new ones I have to buy, they’re worn out.

Well, I seem to have taken a turn for the worse here and lost track of what I need to do. So I’m going to be going.

Productive Weekend

While I did not manage to get very much work done this weekend I did manage to get a good bit of cleaning done. In the living room anyway but that’s a start. I got a lot of things that should have been thrown away months ago thrown away, some dusting and some vacuuming. All and all I’m happy. There are some pieces of furniture marked to be thrown out by the road and I am working on figuring out just how to get those out the door. I know that I need to find somewhere to put the things that are on them until I can get them out of the door. I had a slight disagreement with the whimpy soon to be ex over men and women’s work.

He got smart with me and told me vacuuming was women’s work. I informed him it should be right up his alley then. I preceded to tell him that moving heavy furniture, taking out the trash and cutting the grass which I do the majority of the time are traditionally considered men’s work so he would be more than a bit lacking in the man department. Yes, I know I’m a bitch but I do enjoy it so.

I managed to get some work done on a spreadsheet to post the titles and url’s of all the articles I have for promotion. I have a lot of articles so I’ll be doing more than one but the fact that I got anything done is something. I managed a couple of short articles and some random stuff to kill time that also pays so it wasn’t a total loss for the weekend. I am not thrilled that I still have a ton to do but that’s life and I’ll deal with it. There is still an old bed to put out by the road that is going to take too people but the promise of getting rained on prevented it from happening. I am working as fast as I can to get everything done and I am making progress.

The  progress is slow as I get rid of all the things I don’t want or need and end this marriage but it is going well enough that I am fully satisfied.

Taking My House and My Life Back

I spent the morning doing laundry, dishes and cleaning the living room. I was exhausted before I got half done so I took a nap. I am reclaiming my life. I am enjoying it too. I love the fact that I will soon be free of this mess I have been calling a marriage for so long. I am going to get all my ducks back in a row. I am so happy I could scream! I have a ton to do but I can see it all getting done and soon.

I have no idea how to pay for all this but it’s coming together. There are a lot of things that I have to do to and I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to figure it all out. I think that the easiest way to figure it out is to jump in head first only I plan to keep my eyes wide open this time.

I have no delusions and no expectations just the feeling that I will be getting my life back very soon. I love the fact that I am actually getting things done. I’ve never been so happy in my life, who knew divorce could do that for you?

Amazingly Happy at the Thought of Divorce

Yes, you read that right. I’m amazingly happy right now because I am working toward getting a divorce. I’m still working out the details of how to pay for it and taking care of a thousand other things at the same time but that’s O.K. I have a feeling that it’s all going to fall into place.

Life will be so much better on my own. I’m planning to take my maiden name back this time since this is the third one and I don’t care to do this marriage thing a fourth time. I think that this should be a sign to me that I wasn’t really made for marriage; at least it’s a sign that I have no idea how to pick husband material. I will not make this mistake again.

He’s got jealousy issues that are not going to get better. I think they’ve gotten worse actually over the last six years. He’s always been jealous, at first it was kinda cute, maybe even flattering but over time it just became annoying. It should have been a sign not to marry him but I went through with it anyway. The excessive drinking should have been a sign, he said he’d quit. I believed him like an idiot. The over drawing of the bank account, he said he’d never do again. He’s done it at least three times, the last time they closed the account. I’m done.

I’m tired of accusations, going into debt over stupidity and the fact that everything continues to tear up while this idiot tells me it’s my imagination. Goodnight.

Cleaning Up a Big Mess

I am in the process of attempting to get my third divorce without losing custody of my youngest daughter. It would seem that my finances are not the only challenge that I would face. Friends don’t stab you in the back and they listen instead of talking over you. Turns out I was right I have very few true friends and I aim to keep those few closer than ever in the coming months. I also intend to casually get rid of the ones that do not listen and cause me more trouble than they are worth.

Years ago I got rid of everyone and everything that caused me to have unnecessary stress. A few months ago I accidentally let one of those people back in my life. You know the kind that is always talking so they hear half of something and can’t comprehend that it’s not their business to share. The ones that jump to conclusions and require having their jaw wired shut to prevent them from talking. I hate people like that always have but since I was like twelve when mother moved me to this annoying place I have been surrounded by them.

I have to figure out how to pay my bills, dissolve a five year marriage before it hits six and falls apart even further. I have no idea why I stayed in this marriage for so long. I do know that I have to get a divorce and get that non-friend back out of my life before they take me along on their path to self destruction. I can not believe my own stupidity in the matter as if I hadn’t had enough problems through the years. I am already tired of just nodding in agreement as they made inaccurate assumptions in an effort to get them to shut up.

At the moment I would be bouncing back and forth between my own writing and writing for private clients in an effort to make ends meet. It would seem that everyone is once again missing the point of self employment and the fact that the more I am out of the house the less I would make. I prefer to get all my work done before I leave the house but they do not understand this.

Well, I see this turning into one long off subject rant so I will be going back to work now. Got a short news article to finish and try to do more of before I can begin my project work for the day.