Thinking about the Decision I’ve made

As you know I recently decided to get a divorce which do to finances will be a little while in getting filed and finalized. The decision may have shocked some of those around me but it was anything but a surprise to me. I’m still thinking about everything that led up to this decision and I know that it’s the right one.

The reasons I made the decision and the reasons that he thinks I made the decision are completely different. I feel guilty to an extent wondering if maybe I shouldn’t give it one last chance for our daughter’s sake but truth be known I didn’t actually want to marry him. I just had this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that I should.

I’m not sure what took so long to get to the point of actually calmly and rationally asking for the divorce. There have been a few arguments over the years that ended with me yelling while throwing him and his things out the door. Those fights usually ended with him coming back and us agreeing to give it one more try. Each time the feelings faded a bit more.

A Scary Decision

It seems lately all decisions are scary but I had to make one. I took the summer off because I didn’t have preschool to get uninterrupted working time. Well, when school started back two days a week I decided to take private clients again since I had eight hours uninterrupted to work. That turned out to be proof that things don’t always work out as planned.

I’m in the middle of the second project I’ve taken since school started and it’s only getting more stressful. While the income from private clients is helpful it’s not worth the stress. That’s why I gave notice that this is my last project. There will be no more, from now on the only writing I do will be my own. I can earn more with my own writing; the only drawback is that I won’t get paid as often. 

I think that without the pressures of deadlines I won’t be as sick as often and I can fit in all those little things that get neglected as I rush to finish up. Of course a little more help around here would make things a lot easier. That’s another story all together.